Having a dream relationship is a lot like any dream we have. We create the desire, we know what we want, we write it down, and then we create a plan. As we’re executing that plan someone pops into our life (via dating apps a lot of the time)… and they are *so it*. Almost.
And in this space of ‘almost’ is where a lot of people spend their lives. Why we choose to pursue and stay in the ‘almost’ can be for many reasons… maybe we’re afraid to be alone, maybe we wanted a quick lay, maybe we get validation from casual encounters, maybe we got impatient and our biological clock had us want ‘a’ relationship, maybe our culture and/or community shames being alone, maybe we place our self worth in the hands of love… and maybe, just maybe, we’re all scared shitless of the relationship we all say we want.
So it’s safer to play in the ‘almost’ zone, because then the connection can never really escape us. Then we will never have to truly show up.
So we stay… and we wonder why it doesn’t feel right. And on we go, and as we do we support the stories like “love fades”, “people who are together a long time no longer have sex”, “relationships are hard work”, “the grass isn’t always greener”… not every couple who have been together for a long time still love each other right?!
We perpetuate these stories because they allow us to stay in the ‘almost’. They allow us to play safe and to love with half our hearts.
When are you going to get mad and shift your life?! When are you going to wake up to your possibility and pursue a life worth living?! When are you going to align your life with your integrity?! With what you truly want?!
We are all so much better than an ‘almost’. But when we stay in mediocre relationships and pursue relationships that are not a “hell yes” we are telling ourselves that we’re not a “hell yes”. The message we send to ourselves and the world is that we’re not worth more, and neither is our partner. We must make the decisions that truly reflect what we say we want.
Commit to your desire, and then operate your life from the space that you will not be – nor accept less than a “hell yes”… because what we say “yes” to becomes our lives. So say “yes” to f*cking ridiculously amazing.